Seeking Joy in the Journey

Hello Friends!

To use some trending slang, "It's been a hot minute" since my last update. In order to try to keep this brief, I'll give a short update from the last 5 months:

August found us packing up our home in Iowa, preparing to move.

September took us to Oklahoma for two weeks, then on to Texas.

October found us staying at friends who lived an hour away from Azael's job and we adjusted to the long commute times waiting for our house to sell. It also brought a bright red cast, as Kaspien fell off the couch breaking his arm >.<

November came with an offer on the house that fell through, and then finally an offer that brought us to close on the house the day before Thanksgiving. God also provided an apartment 15 mins from Azael's work the same day! :)   It also brought us a 1year old! Emaias is not walking yet, but 'cruising the furniture' these days.

December had us moving to our new place (which is 2050 sqft smaller than our house in Iowa - whee!), visiting family in Oklahoma and our first lost tooth!

We have been ready for life to slow down a bit and took some time over the past week to decompress! Hopefully you've been able to spend some time this holiday season taking deep breaths and engaging with those around you! :)

These last few months have brought some clarity and some questions as well. My role in the ministry within Cru has been up in the air for awhile now due to the re-organization and subsequent time that implementation that has taken over the last two years. It's been good to finally land in my new department and at the same time it's been an adjustment.

Since Emaias' birth, I've also felt more 'myself' than I have in the last five years. While we were staying at our friends house this Fall we would often walk to the neighborhood park. One day on our way back to the house, I spontaneously jogged next to Jaelyn as she rode her strider bike in a playful way to race with her. It may sound simple, but I can not remember running, let alone jogging out of enjoyment or 'just because I could' in over 5 years. I am continually amazed at the 'firsts' I am experiencing, as I didn't think I felt 'that' bad. In truth, my body has been fighting itself for the past 5 years, and I'm just now starting to get answers that are encouraging my recovery.

When I was running beside Jaelyn, I heard the
words of Eric Liddell, "When I run, I feel His pleasure." And it hit me in a weird way. I always don't love interpreting in and of itself, but when I am coordinating Interpreters for Cru, or when I am interpreting content for Cru, I feel His pleasure. When I provide access to the Deaf community to the rich wealth of resources that Cru has, I find immense joy. The Deaf community is so deprived of resources and Christian content that when I play an ever so small role in allowing access to supplemental theological conversation, or in relaying the message of the speaker that then leads to an 'ah-ha!' moment for the Deaf individuals in attendance, my heart skips a beat and the enjoyment is to God's glory! I come alive in moments of discipling Deaf individuals with the truths of the gospel in their heart language, American Sign Language.

As you know, with the year coming to a close, gifts made to Cru are tax-deductible. If you are still considering making a year-end gift, please click here. Any new gifts or gifts over and above your regular giving will be doubled until December 31st, 2019.

Thank you to all of you who have been faithful to support me in this endeavor as I continue to minister to the Deaf community under the umbrella of Cru! I am grateful for your desire to enlarge God's kingdom by allowing access to Deaf individuals. Those in the Deaf community are thankful for your on-going and generous gifts that engage with them in situations that they often feel forgotten or ignored. 

Soli Deo Gloria
:D

on being Shipwrecked

It's hard for me to know where the line is when it comes to being honest about current ministry situations. I feel there is an unspoken undertone that in ministry most updates should be happy, grateful and only about progress. If updates are consistently dreary or growth is not evident then an alternative career may need to be considered.

And while I can see the wisdom in evaluating the place where you are and wondering if God is closing a door, or moving you on to other things, I also know that Paul's ministry was certainly no walk in the park. Eugene Peterson wrote a book titled 'A Long Obedience in the Same Direction.' I think that sums up Paul's journey from conversion to final breath pretty well. But I don't feel like those who are 'career missionaries' have the opportunity to share freely about shipwrecked times without those who support them wondering why the missionary is not producing steady fruit. (And this could be a projected fear/lie that I believe - please feel free to reply and correct me if you do not feel this way!)

I've been wrestling with this currently, as I want to give an honest and vulnerable update but I don't want this to sound like I am complaining about where I am - in terms of ministry with Cru, or in my personal life. However, the truth of the current situation I find myself is that I am sitting in the middle of a shipwreck (multiple, actually) in just about every facet of my life. BUT the things that are also true of the situations are that growth is happening and Abba is present. I am in the midst of wise council, and am trying to continue to take the 'next right step' in each situation.

It's hard for me to know what to share, as my part of the story is mine, but the other part of the story (that would need to be shared for the story to make sense) is not mine. In each situation, there are one or more participants of whom I do not want to throw under the proverbial bus or cause to look bad because of how they have affected my current reality.

I feel a burden to try to gloss over the shipwreck, and make it less disappointing. It is hard for me to know how much or how little to share. I'm hoping to switch over to a newsletter system in the near future that would allow you to choose the level of updates you would like to get as I think this will give me more focus in knowing what to share. There will be the lighter, inspirational updates that come out quarterly. There will be an option to receive longer, more personal reflections from me as they come, and there will also be an option to be on the prayer warrior post - which I'm hoping will be a place where these shipwrecked moments feel more at home and less adrift at sea.

I do want to thank each of you who have invested/are investing in me thus far. There are great strides of growth and Christ-like character being developed in myself and the Deaf community connected to Cru. There are stories of redemption and grace that are still being penned. And there are new mercies every morning! ;)


Soli Deo Gloria
:D

"That or Crazy.."

Hi Friends. It's been a hot minute since my last update.. much has happened in that time, but in order to make this update not the length of a book, I'll try to be succinct (not my strong-suite). ;)

I'm sure you've all experienced a friend who is in the process of adoption or is a foster care parent, and overnight, because of the way the system works, they suddenly now have a baby or a toddler. It's not that your friend didn't know the child was coming or that they were unprepared, but this new arrival in their life is sudden and time consuming and you're not sure how to help - have you been there?

That's where I feel like I am now - but it's not a baby ;)
It's the FIRST DEAF SUMMER MISSION with Cru!! 
We have been planning it since January. We've been recruiting.
We've been working out details and setting up things.
It started at the end of MAY.
It's a 6 week Summer Mission, so we are just now starting week 4.
(yeah.. I know.. a lil late on the announcement)

But that's the thing. I wasn't sure if it would happen. We only had 3 students confirm to come, and one of them came but wasn't feeling well so had to go back home :( So we have 2 students and 3 staff members and it's a mess (cuz it's the first year we've done this - lots of "oh, we should have's" and "ahh, that's why other Summer Missions do that..") but it's also Lord willing making significant life change in the lives of those who are participating.

However, since I wasn't sure it would happen, I was waiting to make the announcement about it - then since it did happen it's been all consuming. Kinda like that baby or toddler that shows up at your friends house at mid-night one day, and then you wonder if they moved to a different state cuz you've not heard from them in a month..

The Summer Mission is at my house (for various 'Deaf friendly spaces" reasons), and when people have heard that we've rearranged all the furniture (that is moveable) to a different room or switched the location of rooms (dining room moved the the living room and living moved to dining to make more space) for the Summer Mission to be here they often say, "wow, that's amazing", "oh, that's brave", or "cool, that's great." Given my current reality of directing the Summer Mission while still living in my house and with all the other planning and things that are going on this Summer, my response as of late has been, "ha.. that, or [I am] crazy".. ;)

But where the Holy Spirit leads, I'll follow - even it looks, or makes me feel crazy.
--> on a serious note: Since this is the first ever Deaf Summer Mission, we are defiantly feeling the brunt of the spiritual warfare as these students and staff members are growing in their spiritual maturity and developing godly character with access to all of the information in their first language of ASL. For most of them, this is the first time they've had this type of direct communication to deep truths about themselves and God's word in sign language. Please join me in praying for a spirit of Peace to permeate the last 2 weeks of Summer Mission, and for soft hearts to continue to be cultivated to receive the truths from God's word. Also that we staff members would have wisdom to know how to meet the students where they are and walk beside them as we challenge them to "follow me as I follow Christ."

THANKS for reading this long-over due update, and for taking time to join us on the [spiritual] battle-front. May the Lord expand your heart for his glory during your times with him!

Soil Deo Gloria
:D