a Postcard from Africa

to see ASL: click here

In pre-internet days, snail mail was the way to get information. If that information came from abroad, it was bound to be a month or so delayed as it came via the ocean 🚢🚢🚢.. 

So, consider this your postcard from across the pond 📮📨📬

Hello World!

Caydia A'merari was born as the sun came up on April 20th on the DOOR Campus where we are living. She's the first child born on campus and our second child to be born at a Deaf ministry location (Kaspien was born on Deaf Missions campus where we were living at that time - this is turning into a pattern🙊). 

And since she's the fourth child, she gets more pictures since her birth announcement has been so delayed 🙈

Mariah coloring with the kids

Due to Kenyan cultural norms, mom and baby don't do much socialization for the first 2 months - until the child gets their first immunization, I'm told. The concept of meal trains aren't something that happens here either. We've been wonderfully blessed to have our friend, previous housemate and kids "Aunt" Mariah come to Kenya and help out as we adjust to being a family of 6! She arrived at the end of March and heads back to the states the first of June. We are grateful for her help!

As always, our kids names are from our pregnancy journey and what Azael and I are learning in this season.

Caydia is a name I had on the "girl list" when I was pregnant with Kaspien. At that time I wasn't sure if we would spell it Kaydia or Caydia.. but it came from Kay meaning joy or rejoice, dia is spanish for day.

Loosely, Caydia meant to me, the phrase from Psalms 30:5 - joy comes in the morning. 

I mentioned in my recent update that Azael and I took some parenting classes for foster and adoption preparation in the winter/spring of 2021. While we did not move forward with our plans of adoption at that time, the classes were beneficial to see some unhealthy patterns in our parenting. Blending cultural values and norms is not an easy task. Resources in ASL are tremendously lacking, and as a cross-cultural family it has been an arduous journey to figuring out a peace-filled way forward. As we are entering our 8th year of marriage and being parents, I feel as though we are coming out of the "dark night" of the parenting trenches and into the "day of rejoicing".

Paralleling our parenting journey, Abba has been leading me to numerous familiar passages to look deeper at them in the Hebrew and Greek contexts. As a result of this, one of the passages I was pondering/investigating/leaning into was Ephesians 4:31. Getting "rid of bitterness" stuck out to me as that's something that continues to find its way into my thoughts and plans. The greek work used for bitterness is pikria, which I found unappealing as a name, but I knew from earlier study that the name Merari came from the Hebrew word marar meaning 'to be bitter'. Merari in the old testament is a boys name, but I read a book back in 2020 that had a female character named Merari. I liked the thought of it, but didn't want to name a child 'bitter'. 

At that time, I came to find out that in Greek adding "A" to the beginning of a word transforms it into it's opposite. When we were living in missionary housing back in the fall of 2021, a neighbor girl was named Lolyla. When I asked the origins of her name, the mom explained that she liked the name Lyla, but that it meant darkness or night in hebrew and that her husband didn't want to name her that.. However "lo" meant the opposite, or "no darkness", so they came up with Lolyla.. Then it clicked!

adding "A" to "Merari" brings us to A'merari to mean getting rid of bitterness..

 

Welcome to the world, Caydia! We look forward to seeing who you become. 

Soli Deo Gloria
:D

"I think it's been about 20 mins.."

For ASL - click here

 My husband is one of those people who can estimate time with precision. I'll ask him, "how long have we been here?" as I'm looking at my phone to see the time. "About 15 mins" will come his reply, when in fact we have been there 14 mins and 20 seconds! 👀

I, on the other hand, when I try to estimate time, am usually no where in the ballpark! "What time is it?" I'll ask Azael. Let's assume I think it's 3pm, so I go to look at my phone. Azael will say, "4:25ish?".. it's 4:28.. HOW.. I do not have words every time he does this. It does not compute in my brain.. 

Anyways, all that to say - it's been a month or two since my last update, huh? 😉(Try SIXTEEN months, Jenna!) Oops.. 

Since there is much to catch up on, I'm going to try this and hope it works.. The cliff's notes are listed below. If you are curious for more details, click the link in that section, and get the full scoop. It will open in a new tab. Once you've read it, close it to come back to the main update. If not, scroll down to the next month!

If the links are too confusing, click here and it will take you to the EPISTLE (long form version) 🙈

January '21

As my previous post outlined, January 2021 was extremely busy. Five events back to back, two events overlapping. Due to a situation with Azael's work at the time, he and his co-workers were given 6 weeks paid leave - which helped me with the kids immensely during those back-to-back events.

February '21

Azael was laid off in a company wide downsizing. The company he was working for went from around 50 employees to 11. The lease for our apartment also expired in February, and "Dallaska" as someone called it/the cold-front + snow found us in the middle of moving out of our apt! 

March '21

Since Azael was not working, I increased my hours for Cru. Our team began planning for the second virtual Deaf Summer Mission. Deaf staff attended two workshops Cru offered. Azael applied for jobs, and we continued to live with our friends.

April '21

I was able to interpret for a one-day Christian based Foster/Adoption-care event with a friend of mine. That was amazing and so insightful! There was also more work on Summer Mission prep.

May '21

I had two back-to-back interpreting events that I needed to be in Orlando for. We took the opportunity to take the whole family to Florida for a week. 

June '21

Unfortunately, we did not have any students able to join the virtual Summer mission. After a lull with employment options, Azael had two job interviews in the same week. 

July '21

We verbally accepted the offer from DOOR International. This meant we would be heading to Kenya by January, and then Costa Rica come fall of 2022. Now we just needed to find somewhere to live for the next 5 months..

August '21

We moved to missionary housing in Dallas in order to downsize all our things. We also found out we would be adding a member to our family in Kenya! Surprise!!!

September '21

First trimester fatigue, trying to downsize our storage unit, and mentally and physically prepare (passports, shots, ect) to move overseas, all while Azael worked a temp position with DOOR makes this month a little bit of a blur..

October '21

During our discussion of which job to accept, we anticipated that I would continue doing what I've been doing for Cru, since most of my work is remote currently. I started to establish a part-time interpreting team under me to do the daily work of interpreting, as I knew that the internet - specifically in Kenya - would not be as reliable as it is in the States. In trying to establish this part-time team it was discovered that I could not continue the work I was doing for Cru - USA, and live outside of the US.. 

November '21

I took the kids and we spent two weeks visiting my family before and during Thanksgiving. Azael stayed in Dallas to wrap things up, and joined us for the Thanksgiving long weekend. The tension of how to move forward with my impending absence from Cru while also caring well for our Deaf staff hung heavy over me.

December '21

I interpreted my last in-person campus meetings for Cru in Orlando the first week of December. It was bitter sweet still not knowing if I would be able to continue with Cru after December 2021 since discussion about my position was still ongoing as we moved forward with our departure. December 15th landed us in Kenya. We suspect Azael came down with Omicron on the plane.. It made its way through the family as we adjusted to living 9 hours ahead of friends and family in the states.

January '22

As I predicted, power outages and interrupted internet connections have been frequent here. To abide by IRS regulations, it was decided that I could change my position within Cru to Associate Staff - which basically means I am now a volunteer. 

>> IF you are currently supporting me financially, I will email you directly with information about your options to cease support if you desire. <<

February '22

Trying to juggle kids, manual house work (no clothes dryer, dishwasher, vacuum cleaner, etc), adjusting to a new culture and expectations and preparing to have a baby here has taken quite a lot of time. There is not much left for Cru at the moment. 

March '22

Finally finding a rhythm.. one of those things includes a 4:30am meeting one day a week with teammates in the states as we plan for our first IN-Person Deaf Summer Mission since Covid! 

April '22

I'm trying to complete as much as I am able before baby joins us and I'm 'off' for the next few months.

Hopefully this is not the only update you get from me in 2022 - but at this point I make no promises about my next newsletter. I'm sure there will be an intro to baby.. but then we will be moving back to the states this summer, and on to Costa Rica this fall.. Thanks for taking this ride with me for the past 10+ years. YOU have been a blessing to the ministry in whatever capacity you have been involved and I'm grateful!

Soli Deo Gloria

:D

The Epistle form

January '21

As my previous post outlined, January 2021 was extremely busy. Five events back to back, two events overlapping. 

Due to a situation with Azael's work at the time, he and his co-workers were given 6 weeks paid leave - which helped me with the kids immensely during those back-to-back events.

Azael felt the Holy Spirit tell him that a change was coming. We were actively seeking to purchase a house in the DFW area, and sensed God asking us to wait until the issues at work subsided. We are grateful that we heeded that admonition with the news that came in February.

February '21

Azael was laid off in a company wide downsizing. The company he was working for went from around 50 employees to 11. The lease for our apartment also expired in February, and "Dallaska" as someone called it/the cold-front + snow found us in the middle of moving out of our apt!

While Azael's layoff was not necessarily in our plans, God was gracious in working out the details for us. Our friends were so kind and offered us a place to stay for the next 2 months while Azael looked for new employment. We were in the midst of moving to their place (an hour north of our apartment, but still in the DFW area) when the snow hit. In the craziness of packing we didn't grab the winter clothes 😬 so the kids weren't able to really play in the snow. But we DID have power the whole time of the inopportune snow storm event in Texas, since our friends live on the same grid as the Firehouse, which was a blessing to not add one more crazy layer to our already chaotic week of boxes and moving and sudden unemployment. 

March '21

Since Azael was not working, I increased my hours for Cru. Our team began planning for the second virtual Deaf Summer Mission. Deaf staff attended two workshops Cru offered. I began meeting with the Teaching staff team within Cru to work to make our core curriculum accessible for current and future Deaf staff. 

Azael applied for jobs and had a few different leads, but we felt the Holy Spirit asking us to rest in His timing and wait a bit. It was a blessing that I could devote more time to Cru as Azael was able to invest in the kids more during this time. We continued to live with our friends.

April '21

I was able to interpret for a one-day Christian based Foster/Adoption-care event with a friend of mine. That was amazing and so insightful! Azael and I had begun training classes for foster care licensing in December. When he was laid off in February, we had to put our training on hold. However, having just been through most of the training that was used in the one day conference made it so much easier to interpret the content. Azael is also an adult adoptee. Many of the classes/trainings have been so helpful to us in navigating things that happened in his childhood that he is just now finding vocabulary to be able to process. It's also been an asset to our own nuclear family and helping to identify unhealthy habits or patterns and implement better ones. If foster care/adoption is something that you are impacted by, I would encourage you to check out the annual conference. :)

There was also more work on Summer Mission prep for our online Summer Mission Opportunity.

May '21

I had two back-to-back interpreting events that I needed to be in Orlando for. If you remember, last year we did an event for 24 hours, but it was not recorded. This year it was condensed into a 12 hour event, and the recording worked! If you have some time to watch, you can repeat the prayers for the people a year later now. ;)

We took the opportunity to take the whole family to Florida for a week. Azael had a few leads for a new job, but nothing substantial, so while he could go with me, we took the chance to go on the road trip! We also got to visit my Grandma and the kids enjoyed seeing one of our former roommates who lived in Florida at that time. The 3 day drive there and the 3 day drive back were good opportunities for Azael and I to really discuss future options too. Six days in the car with kids can be a little stressful, but overall we were glad for the trip and it worked out well.

June '21

Unfortunately, we did not have any students able to join the virtual Summer mission. 

After a lull with employment options, Azael had two job interviews in the same week. Both were jobs that had been brought to Azael's attention back in March, but due to various circumstances had been delayed in finalizing job offers. One job, with DOOR International, would move our family overseas for the next 5 years. First to Kenya, then to Costa Rica. The other would keep us in Texas, where Azael could purse his long-time desire of higher education. After much discussion with some trusted advisors and seeking the Lord's guidance, we had peace about which offer He was inviting us into. 

July '21

We verbally accepted the offer from DOOR International. This meant we would be heading to Kenya by January, and then Costa Rica come fall of 2022. Now we just needed to find somewhere to live for the next 5 months since our friends, who had graciously allowed us to stay with them for an extra 4 months, were needing their space back. We needed to find temporary housing for the rest of 2021. Thankfully DOOR has connections with DIU (Dallas International University, a partner with SIL - Summer Institute of Linguistics) and we were able to secure missionary housing for August to December. 

Adding an new critter to our ZOO! 
The kids had "animal themes" at birth that they continue to
enjoy as they've gotten older. This baby will be a Koala.

August '21

We moved to missionary housing in Dallas in order to downsize all our things. We also found out we would be adding a member to our family in Kenya! Surprise!! 👀

September '21

First trimester fatigue, trying to downsize our storage unit, and mentally and physically prepare (passports, shots, ect) to move overseas, all while Azael worked a temp position with DOOR makes this month a little bit of a blur..

October '21

How I told my family.. Grandkids #9, #10 and #11
for my parents. Lauren is 8 months pregnant here, 
Lindsey is 4 months along, and I'm barely a month.

During our discussion of which job to accept, we anticipated that I would continue doing what I've been doing for Cru, since most of my work is remote currently. I started to establish a part-time interpreting team to do the daily work of interpreting, as I knew that the internet - specifically in Kenya - would not be as reliable as it is in the States. In trying to establish this part-time team it was discovered that I could not continue the work I was doing for Cru - USA, and live outside of the US.. 

To say I was shocked is an understatement. Working with Cru for the last 10 years, attempting to provide access to the Deaf community, and trying many times to build a team of interpreters to work along side me over the course of those 10 year has been very trying to say the least. My goal was to continue the work that I felt I'd been given and at least transition it well to the next person who may take it up - a task I felt would take 6 months to a year to complete. However, now I was supposed to be leaving the country in less than 45 days! Many tears and conversations later, I still felt stuck between a rock and a hard place. I continued to remind myself that even though it was no where on my radar over the summer, it was not a surprise to God and that he cares about the Deaf community more than I do. 

November '21

I took the kids and we spent two weeks visiting my family before and during Thanksgiving. Azael stayed in Dallas to wrap thing up, and joined us for the Thanksgiving long weekend.

The tension of how to move forward with my impending absence from Cru while also caring well for our Deaf staff hung heavy over me. I had a 3 day event in Florida at Cru's headquarters that needed interpreting at the beginning of December. I was able to contract with a skilled interpreter who is also dear friend and process through much of my disappointment with how things were turning out. I also tried every which way I knew to see if there was an option to re-code my position so that I could continue to do what I was doing and still live abroad. Cru is an international organization, so it would seem feasible. However the IRS doesn't see it that way.. more waiting to see what would become of my position.

December '21

I interpreted my last in-person campus meetings for Cru in Orlando the first week of December. It was bitter sweet still not knowing if I would be able to continue with Cru after December 2021 since discussion about my position was still ongoing as we moved forward with our departure. This is why there was no mass end of the year email from me.. With so much to catch up on, and so many things "up in the air", I decided to hold off until we had some more details.. 

December 15th landed us in Kenya. We suspect Azael came down with Omicron on the plane.. It made it's way through the family as we adjusted to living 9 hours ahead of friends and family in the states.

January '22

As I predicted, power outages and interrupted internet connections have been frequent here. To abide by IRS regulations, it was decided that I could change my position within Cru to Associate Staff - which basically means I am now a volunteer. I will continue to do the things I've been doing to the best of my limited capacity, only now I don't get paid to do them. I am planning to try the volunteer position for a year to see if it's sustainable for our family dynamic, while also working towards a more permanent solution with Cru staffing teams. 

 >> IF you are currently supporting me financially, I will email you directly with information about your options to cease support if you desire. <<

February '22

Trying to juggle the kids experiences of a new place, manual house work (no clothes dryer, dishwasher, vacuum cleaner..), adjusting to a new culture and expectations and preparing to have a baby here has taken quite a lot of time. After recovering from the jet-lag and illness, we are finally starting to settle in. The adjustment to Kenya is taking quite some time. One of the easiest ways I've found to describe the nuance of living here is that I placed an order for an item via an online portal - similar to Amazon, local to Kenya - but same day delivery. When I asked for an ETA, they replied by saying they would dispatch it immediately. That was at 10am.. I checked in around noon, and they assured me it was coming. The location was less than a 30 minute drive from where we live. I checked in again around 2pm.. again I was assured it was on it's way. It arrived at 4pm.. 10-4 = 6 hours.. the Kenyan definition for "immediately"? It turns out that is pretty par for the course here.. Any estimation of time is taken with a grain of salt, as things just take longer here.. getting adjusted and a daily routine set up included!

Also with internet/power outages and the 9+ hour time difference from the states, I'm having a hard time figuring out a work schedule. I feel I've dropped many balls lately, but I'm hoping for grace in this season and trying to do what I can with what I have available to me.

March '22

Finally finding a rhythm.. one of those things includes a 4:30am meeting one day a week with teammates in the states as we plan for our first IN-Person Deaf Summer Mission since Covid! I am excited to prep for our in person summer mission. We are hopeful to have Deaf students attend this year. The early hours meeting is not sustainable long term, but for the next few weeks until BabyBu#4 comes, I'm trying to make it work.

There has also been some good conversation amongst the leadership within Cru about needing to establish some sort of sustainability of interpreting for the future.. which is something I've been trying to get going for quite a while, but with my impending absence, it seems to finally have been made a priority.. which, I guess, is a blessing in disguise.. 💁

April '22

I'm trying to complete as much as I am able before baby joins us and I'm 'off' for the next few months.

Hopefully this in not the only update you get from me in 2022 - but at this point I make no promises about my next newsletter. I'm sure there will be an intro to baby.. but then we will be moving back to the states this summer, and on to Costa Rica this fall.. Thanks for taking this ride with me for the past 10+ years. YOU have been a blessing to the ministry in whatever capacity you have been involved and I'm grateful!

Soli Deo Gloria

:D

⏳ The countdown is on! ⏳

👋✋👋✋👋

To view in ASL: click here

It's that time of year when your inbox is flooded with "THREE MORE DAYS UNTIL OUR MATCHING GRANT RUNS OUT"   "You can make a difference in the lives of.."  💰 "Give, Give, GIVE!"

This year, I don't have a matching grant so the only incentive for you to give before January 1st, 2021 is to have it documented on your taxes for 2020. 😉

However, the statement above is true -  ✨ 🙌You CAN make a difference! 🙌✨

I, and those who will receive interpreting services through Cru, are grateful recipients of your generosity if you choose to give this year.

This coming year is shaping up to be the busiest year interpreting so far.

👉On-line Theology class 

👉 3 day 2021 Vision Conference

👉 3 day workshop Intensive

👉 Summer Mission Team Leader Training

👉 Movement Team Leader Training

(and that's just in January!!) 📆

I don't want to keep you too long, nor do I want to guilt you into giving before the New Year. But I do want to invite you to join us on this journey of making these resources listed above and more available to the Deaf community in their heart language so that they can in turn take the information back to their communities and transform them with the Love of God. As our ministry continues to grow, so does our need for ongoing donations 💵, not just year-end giving. Would you take a look at your budget and see what the Lord prompts you to give?

🌟🎉 If you already join me, I'm so grateful!  🎉🌟

If you'd like to join the team, click here. 💵

May your 2020 conclude with your face turned towards our Abba, 
✨soaking in his goodness and grace! ✨

Soli Deo Gloria
:D

2020: A Year in Review - and a playlist to set the mood

To view the ASL Version - click here 

Wow. We are almost to the end of our "unprecedented" year.. Does anyone else cringe every time they hear/see that word.. It's not my favorite! 

(Music/songs to get you through the year - that is a favorite. You can click each link below for the individual song, or you can click here for the full playlist)

I realize I've been MIA on my updates this year. Much has happened, but I've not yet adequately documented it. Azael was able to take some time off, so I'm fervently trying to record all the things God has done to make sure he gets the glory from this! in this unprecedented 😏 year. 

As I'm compiling the list of things that happened with the Deaf Ministry and Interpreting needs for Cru during in this calendar year, I'm grateful for the "great things he hath done". Please join me in saying "Praise the LORD", our Adonai as he continues to increase our ministry for Deaf students and staff.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In February, I provided a team of interpreters for a 4 day intensive training workshop. Due to the nature of the workshop, I needed 2 male interpreters and 2 female interpreters. The interpreting field is disproportionally made up of women, so I was easily able to book two wonderful ladies. I also secured one guy a month before the training was scheduled but I was still looking for second guy the week before the event. My typical search for an interpreter will only need me to ask 10 or so interpreters before I am able to cover a job. However, in this situation, I had to press on and ask 39 Christian Male Interpreters before the 40th one was able to accept the job! Before this, I didn't know that 40 Christian Male Interpreters existed!! (I joke, but they are a RARE breed for sure). I was so very grateful for the network that God provided me, as the training ignited deep growth and healing for the participants!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I received an email in May asking if I could provide interpreters for only the first 3 hours of a virtual 24 hour prayer event. After calling the organizer on a Friday to discuss more details, it turned out they were open to covering the whole 24 hours with interpreters, but they did not have the funds, nor did they expect the need could be met - since the event was less than a week away. Feeling the Holy Spirit confirm within me that we could indeed cover the full 24 hours, I told the organizer I would work on it over the weekend, and felt confident that we could have interpreters for the whole event. As I drove back home, the song PEACE, BE STILL, came on the radio. I felt it was confirmation from the Holy Spirit that he would do it! An amazing 72 hours later, all 24 two-person team two-hour slots were covered!!! I wish I had the video footage of the event to share with you, but unfortunately a glitch did not record any of it. It truly was an amazing time!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Even with the lock-downs/quarantines that have become our norm, we had our FIRST Deaf Virtual Summer Mission during June and July. It was such a sweet time of growth both for our staff and the seven (7) students that attended. This is only the SECOND Deaf Summer Mission that has ever happened in the 69 years that Cru has existed. We are so excited for the opportunities on the horizon to EQUIP Deaf Students to share their faith with their peers! Often, because the hearing church is generally in English, Deaf individuals don't feel as though they have a place, since English is not their first language. Through the summer teachings and trainings, many of the students realized they can do the things God has called them to using ASL!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In September, I officially transferred to my new department. If this sounds familiar, it's because I did the same thing last year 😆 When an organization made up of thousands restructures their leadership, it takes a while for the dust to settle and people to be 'filed in the new system'. I started out under HR when I first joined staff, and now I'm back in HR! It's a different team, now, since I'm on the national level and not just designated to one region (as there are Deaf people EVERYWHERE) 😉 So far, its a great fit with appropriate oversight and room to grow. God has been kind and taking good care of me - I'm excited to see where He leads! :) 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lastly, in December of this year, due to our virtual year, the National Campus Staff decided to host an "all staff day" for encouragement and to cast vision. There are over 3,000 staff members on the campus level of Cru. This endeavor meant we would have to use a Zoom Webinar instead of a Meeting. I'm sure many of you have become more familiar with Zoom than you ever would have thought. Zoom has many integrated features that allow for Deaf people to use an interpreter on the platform, but a Webinar is not one of them 👀 With God's grace and some creative settings we were able to make it work! We raise a hallelujah for the technology of today that allows us to involve the Deaf community!

-----------

I hope this update brings a smile to your face and joy to your heart. May the Lord bless you and keep you this holiday season. May he make his face shine upon you. 

As always, I'm grateful for your partnership. If you would like to make a monetary donation towards supporting the ongoing ministry, click here. We have many projects for accessibility in the works for 2021. More updates to come!

Soli Deo Gloria
:D

🙌 Full of gratitude! 🙌

Yes. I'm grateful for you!

(TL:DR - just read the Bold highlights) 😉

I'm grateful for the support you've given (financially, experientially, emotionally) over the last 10 years that I've been on this journey of working with and for Cru among the Deaf community. 

Back in May, Jesus Film, which is a ministry of Cru, hosted a 24 hour prayer live stream. I had less than 10 days to get 24 interpreters lined up to cover the 12 - 2 hour blocks needed for interpreting the whole 24 hours. God graciously provided all the time slots to be covered in 3 days! While I didn't have time to get the word out amid the furry of plans, the event was supposed to be recorded. I planned to share the link post event so you could see me (and other interpreters) in action! Unfortunately, due to some overlooked YouTube setting, the event was not able to be recorded, and all footage was lost. 😭

I was awake and working with the team for the full 24 hours that day. It felt crushing to not have any recording to show for it. I started an update a few times, but I was at a loss for what to say. Thus I didn't post anything.

This past summer, we had the FIRST ever Virtual Deaf Summer Mission. Seven Deaf and hard-of-hearing students attended via Zoom. Five students were from RIT (Rochester Institute of Technology) and two were from Gallaudet. Myself and two other's from the Hands of Fire Staff lead the team. It was a great experience. 

One student shared: "I learned that some of the problems in my life aren’t my fault and that I shouldn’t be harsh to myself - [I need to accept God's] GRACE TO MYSELF!"

Another student said: "Also I found that I don't have boundaries between myself, people and God and this is the reason I keep falling as I let everything get inside my home and things got messed up. So I planned that my next study topic is to explore more about boundaries."

While there was much good that happened this summer - TIME (especially my time, with 3 young kids at home) was quite limited, and I did not get an update sent out about all the good things that were happening. The groundbreaking FIRST Deaf Summer Mission to happen via video chat slid by without much fanfare, but the Hands of Fire ministry at RIT is still reaping the rewards of that event. I'm grateful that your continued support of me allowed us to offer the option to students. :)

My last bit of news might seem a bit redundant since just 2 or 3 updates ago I mentioned that I was finally 'landing in my new role' officially after waiting for the dust of the organizational restructure from two years prior to settle. It turns out that there were misunderstanding on both sides of my placement, and my 'new role' actually meant I would have to stop interpreting with Cru. 😣 During Covid quarantine, there were many conversations about whether Cru was the right place to continue in ministry with the Deaf community. Which is one of the main reasons I've not been able to pen an update until now - feeling as though there was a very real possibility that this communication with you might be me saying "I have appreciated your support thus far, and am now going in a different direction." HOWEVER, I am happy to report that a better fit for the Interpreting ministry within Cru was found, and I am able to continue doing the work I feel the Lord has commissioned me to do under the ministry of Cru. 😁

I am attempting to establish a schedule to better manage my time - I'm getting better at the curve ball's kids throw into the rhythms and routines of the day. I always want to end these updates on a positive note, and I really do have plans to update this newsletter to a better format, but realistically, I need to just say I'm trying to be faithful to the call that God has given me to make information about Him accessible to the Deaf community in their heart language of ASL. I hope to update you more frequently going forward, but if you don't hear from me, just know I'm still taking the next step towards making access to God's Word more readily available for the Deaf community!

Soli Deo Gloria

Thoughts on my 35th attempt

Hello Friends,

Today is the inaugural day of my 35th trip around the sun. The last 34 times I've succeeded.
Lord willing, I hope I make it to the end of this one as well! ;)

With the media abuzz about coronavirus, I don't have much to add to the constant updates and articles that are flooding the web. I will say that in situations such as these my mind tends to wonder about those who have gone before us in regard to things like the Black Death in Europe and the Yellow fever that overtook those building the Panama Canal. If this virus is going to threaten us, I can't think of a better time in history to have to self-quarantine. It's akin to when I was dating Azael. He lived in Honduras while I was here in the States. People would ask how our long distance relationship was progressing, and I would always say, "I'm glad he's only a video call away, and not writing a letter and waiting 6 months for a response!" As Trevor Noah said, "There's no other time that someone will give you the advice to [look at your phone, watch T.V. all you want, and binge on social media.]" I hope you are all enjoying some of the 'down time' you've been 'given'. :)

It's been a couple of years since I did a birthday countdown or update, but I wanted to continue to the tradition of documenting my 'new year' with you all. ((And since I know my updates have been few and far between these last few years, I wanted to give an overview of where I am..)) I had hoped to get this out in the morning, so you could read it ON my birthday, but in reality I took my first breath in the evening, so it's fitting that it's dark while I'm finishing it. :)

In August of 2018, I sent an update explaining that I had not been feeling well for a while. At the time it seemed like it was stress and life changes (and those probably did play into my overall health); however, I have recently been seeing a doctor for my persistent extreme exhaustion and finding there is more to the equation. The brain fog and consistent headaches that have accompanied me for a while now have become too much to just 'muscle through'. In February I had some initial blood work done that came back inconclusive. I need to get some more tests run, but the doctor suspects it's either food allergies or Lyme's Disease. Thus, I'm starting the Whole30 today as a way to try to identify any possible food allergies, and I am taking the next steps to corner the potential Lyme invader. It's both a relief and a burden to have a possible diagnosis.  In my limited amount of "good days/time" updates have been put on the back burner. I apologize for not prioritizing communication and I hope to have a "State of the Ministry" update coming soon.. :)

And, if I'm honest, part of the reason for not updating this past year is that I'm still picking up pieces from the 'shipwreck' that happened last summer. I find myself thinking that I've got my 'sea legs' back and I'm ready to go, only to find another layer of insecurities or interpersonal issues to work through. I feel like I'm in good company and I have a great support system around me, but that doesn't make the work of cleaning up a spiritual/emotional shipwreck go more quickly. I'm trying to be diligent to do the work now so as to avoid another shipwreck in the future.

In the mean time, Azael and I continue to be amazed at God's timing and the blessing that moving to Texas has been - even though I didn't necessarily want to come nor was it in my itinerary for the future - it has been very good for us, both individually and as a family. We are grateful to our Abba, for knowing what we need and giving good gifts, even when we aren't able to see the bigger picture.

Speaking of pictures, I did a thing today. This is the shortest my hair has been since I was 3 or 4 years old! ==>

Thanks for reading through this update. Please know that ministry IS still happening  - and those who benefit from using the ASL interpreters at the conferences and events that Cru hosts ARE Eternally Grateful!

Really and truly - so very grateful for your partnership with me in this mission!

Soli Deo Gloria
:D

Seeking Joy in the Journey

Hello Friends!

To use some trending slang, "It's been a hot minute" since my last update. In order to try to keep this brief, I'll give a short update from the last 5 months:

August found us packing up our home in Iowa, preparing to move.

September took us to Oklahoma for two weeks, then on to Texas.

October found us staying at friends who lived an hour away from Azael's job and we adjusted to the long commute times waiting for our house to sell. It also brought a bright red cast, as Kaspien fell off the couch breaking his arm >.<

November came with an offer on the house that fell through, and then finally an offer that brought us to close on the house the day before Thanksgiving. God also provided an apartment 15 mins from Azael's work the same day! :)   It also brought us a 1year old! Emaias is not walking yet, but 'cruising the furniture' these days.

December had us moving to our new place (which is 2050 sqft smaller than our house in Iowa - whee!), visiting family in Oklahoma and our first lost tooth!

We have been ready for life to slow down a bit and took some time over the past week to decompress! Hopefully you've been able to spend some time this holiday season taking deep breaths and engaging with those around you! :)

These last few months have brought some clarity and some questions as well. My role in the ministry within Cru has been up in the air for awhile now due to the re-organization and subsequent time that implementation that has taken over the last two years. It's been good to finally land in my new department and at the same time it's been an adjustment.

Since Emaias' birth, I've also felt more 'myself' than I have in the last five years. While we were staying at our friends house this Fall we would often walk to the neighborhood park. One day on our way back to the house, I spontaneously jogged next to Jaelyn as she rode her strider bike in a playful way to race with her. It may sound simple, but I can not remember running, let alone jogging out of enjoyment or 'just because I could' in over 5 years. I am continually amazed at the 'firsts' I am experiencing, as I didn't think I felt 'that' bad. In truth, my body has been fighting itself for the past 5 years, and I'm just now starting to get answers that are encouraging my recovery.

When I was running beside Jaelyn, I heard the
words of Eric Liddell, "When I run, I feel His pleasure." And it hit me in a weird way. I always don't love interpreting in and of itself, but when I am coordinating Interpreters for Cru, or when I am interpreting content for Cru, I feel His pleasure. When I provide access to the Deaf community to the rich wealth of resources that Cru has, I find immense joy. The Deaf community is so deprived of resources and Christian content that when I play an ever so small role in allowing access to supplemental theological conversation, or in relaying the message of the speaker that then leads to an 'ah-ha!' moment for the Deaf individuals in attendance, my heart skips a beat and the enjoyment is to God's glory! I come alive in moments of discipling Deaf individuals with the truths of the gospel in their heart language, American Sign Language.

As you know, with the year coming to a close, gifts made to Cru are tax-deductible. If you are still considering making a year-end gift, please click here. Any new gifts or gifts over and above your regular giving will be doubled until December 31st, 2019.

Thank you to all of you who have been faithful to support me in this endeavor as I continue to minister to the Deaf community under the umbrella of Cru! I am grateful for your desire to enlarge God's kingdom by allowing access to Deaf individuals. Those in the Deaf community are thankful for your on-going and generous gifts that engage with them in situations that they often feel forgotten or ignored. 

Soli Deo Gloria
:D

on being Shipwrecked

It's hard for me to know where the line is when it comes to being honest about current ministry situations. I feel there is an unspoken undertone that in ministry most updates should be happy, grateful and only about progress. If updates are consistently dreary or growth is not evident then an alternative career may need to be considered.

And while I can see the wisdom in evaluating the place where you are and wondering if God is closing a door, or moving you on to other things, I also know that Paul's ministry was certainly no walk in the park. Eugene Peterson wrote a book titled 'A Long Obedience in the Same Direction.' I think that sums up Paul's journey from conversion to final breath pretty well. But I don't feel like those who are 'career missionaries' have the opportunity to share freely about shipwrecked times without those who support them wondering why the missionary is not producing steady fruit. (And this could be a projected fear/lie that I believe - please feel free to reply and correct me if you do not feel this way!)

I've been wrestling with this currently, as I want to give an honest and vulnerable update but I don't want this to sound like I am complaining about where I am - in terms of ministry with Cru, or in my personal life. However, the truth of the current situation I find myself is that I am sitting in the middle of a shipwreck (multiple, actually) in just about every facet of my life. BUT the things that are also true of the situations are that growth is happening and Abba is present. I am in the midst of wise council, and am trying to continue to take the 'next right step' in each situation.

It's hard for me to know what to share, as my part of the story is mine, but the other part of the story (that would need to be shared for the story to make sense) is not mine. In each situation, there are one or more participants of whom I do not want to throw under the proverbial bus or cause to look bad because of how they have affected my current reality.

I feel a burden to try to gloss over the shipwreck, and make it less disappointing. It is hard for me to know how much or how little to share. I'm hoping to switch over to a newsletter system in the near future that would allow you to choose the level of updates you would like to get as I think this will give me more focus in knowing what to share. There will be the lighter, inspirational updates that come out quarterly. There will be an option to receive longer, more personal reflections from me as they come, and there will also be an option to be on the prayer warrior post - which I'm hoping will be a place where these shipwrecked moments feel more at home and less adrift at sea.

I do want to thank each of you who have invested/are investing in me thus far. There are great strides of growth and Christ-like character being developed in myself and the Deaf community connected to Cru. There are stories of redemption and grace that are still being penned. And there are new mercies every morning! ;)


Soli Deo Gloria
:D

"That or Crazy.."

Hi Friends. It's been a hot minute since my last update.. much has happened in that time, but in order to make this update not the length of a book, I'll try to be succinct (not my strong-suite). ;)

I'm sure you've all experienced a friend who is in the process of adoption or is a foster care parent, and overnight, because of the way the system works, they suddenly now have a baby or a toddler. It's not that your friend didn't know the child was coming or that they were unprepared, but this new arrival in their life is sudden and time consuming and you're not sure how to help - have you been there?

That's where I feel like I am now - but it's not a baby ;)
It's the FIRST DEAF SUMMER MISSION with Cru!! 
We have been planning it since January. We've been recruiting.
We've been working out details and setting up things.
It started at the end of MAY.
It's a 6 week Summer Mission, so we are just now starting week 4.
(yeah.. I know.. a lil late on the announcement)

But that's the thing. I wasn't sure if it would happen. We only had 3 students confirm to come, and one of them came but wasn't feeling well so had to go back home :( So we have 2 students and 3 staff members and it's a mess (cuz it's the first year we've done this - lots of "oh, we should have's" and "ahh, that's why other Summer Missions do that..") but it's also Lord willing making significant life change in the lives of those who are participating.

However, since I wasn't sure it would happen, I was waiting to make the announcement about it - then since it did happen it's been all consuming. Kinda like that baby or toddler that shows up at your friends house at mid-night one day, and then you wonder if they moved to a different state cuz you've not heard from them in a month..

The Summer Mission is at my house (for various 'Deaf friendly spaces" reasons), and when people have heard that we've rearranged all the furniture (that is moveable) to a different room or switched the location of rooms (dining room moved the the living room and living moved to dining to make more space) for the Summer Mission to be here they often say, "wow, that's amazing", "oh, that's brave", or "cool, that's great." Given my current reality of directing the Summer Mission while still living in my house and with all the other planning and things that are going on this Summer, my response as of late has been, "ha.. that, or [I am] crazy".. ;)

But where the Holy Spirit leads, I'll follow - even it looks, or makes me feel crazy.
--> on a serious note: Since this is the first ever Deaf Summer Mission, we are defiantly feeling the brunt of the spiritual warfare as these students and staff members are growing in their spiritual maturity and developing godly character with access to all of the information in their first language of ASL. For most of them, this is the first time they've had this type of direct communication to deep truths about themselves and God's word in sign language. Please join me in praying for a spirit of Peace to permeate the last 2 weeks of Summer Mission, and for soft hearts to continue to be cultivated to receive the truths from God's word. Also that we staff members would have wisdom to know how to meet the students where they are and walk beside them as we challenge them to "follow me as I follow Christ."

THANKS for reading this long-over due update, and for taking time to join us on the [spiritual] battle-front. May the Lord expand your heart for his glory during your times with him!

Soil Deo Gloria
:D

"It's the MOST WONDERFUL Time of the Year" (year end giving..) ;)

Hello Friends and Family.

I'm sure you've had many email reminders from various organizations about year-end tax-deductible giving. I had planned a grand giving campaign, but then my son was born early, and ended up with a broken leg so I'm just now getting out my end of the year request. I trust God will bring in what is necessary to keep the ministry a float, but I would like to give you a brief update if you have the time.

We've added four members to our Staff this year who are working with the Deaf ministry of Cru - Hands of Fire. This is three more people than last year, and the first time to have staff members DEDICATED TO the needs of THE DEAF COMMUNITY. Praise the Lord for bringing workers to the ripe fields! :)

We also currently have THREE Winter Conferences that we are providing Interpreters. This is TWO more than last year, AND there are 5 more Deaf students in attendance than last year (last year there were 2 students, this year 7 students).

I could go into more statistics, but suffice it to say we are finally starting to REAP A HARVEST from all of the years I've put into building the foundations of this ministry. Your support thus far has enabled us to be where we are today, and I hope that you will continue to invest in the growth of the ministry.

As we come to the end of 2018, I am in need of $8,000 to stay on budget. If you are able, I would appreciate whatever generous amount you can give towards that number. Thanks for partnering with me so that the Deaf community can SEE the gospel in their heart language, and share their understanding with others.

Soli Deo Gloria
:D

*(to receive the tax-deduction, your gift needs to be processed by December 31st at 11:59pm)*

On Expecting the Unexpected.. and a lil' bitty hello! :)

It's December 19th - technically I should be 41 weeks pregnant today. And because of that my plans for November were as follows:

November 1st - return home from a month long trip to Honduras (visiting Azael's biological family).
November 11th - drive down to Tulsa, help with prep for Lauren's wedding.
November 19th - drive home to Iowa from Lauren's wedding.
November 21st - purchase a van from our friends in Nebraska (as our van died a week earlier).
November 26th through December 14th - PREP. ALL. THE. THINGS
- for Baby's arrival, and for Cru Winter Conference, and the house for Snow, and..
December 16th - have all the things done, and be ready for baby to come. It may seem "late" but since my first two kids came at 42.5 and 41.5 weeks, respectively, I felt like it made sense to anticipate a later delivery.

BUT here's what happened

November 1st - return home from a month long visit to Honduras = Check
November 11th - drive down to Tulsa, help with prep for Lauren's wedding = Check
November 19th - drive home to Iowa from Lauren's wedding = Check
November 21st - purchase a van from our friends in Nebraska = Check
November 24th - 2:34am WATER BREAKS (this has not happened with either of my other kids = surprising!) Midwife checks on me through out the day, labor stalls thrice, but she decides to stay overnight since there's a snowstorm coming which can induce labor. I'm glad she did, as active labor started at 9:30pm, and Baby BOY was born at 11:31pm.

He was 37.5 weeks, so considered 'term'. We didn't have any complications - we also didn't have a name, as Azael and I had scheduled a date for Sunday, the 25th to discuss possible names!
Lil' buddy just couldn't wait.. ;)

I was woefully unprepared, however, for his arrival. We had ordered the 'Birth Kit' for his planned home birth just 2 days prior (it arrived Monday afternoon, when he was 2 days old.. oops!). Since my water broke in the early morning, Azael did have time to run some errands that day to get the necessities. We also had some of the other supplies left over from Kaspien's birth, so it worked out fine. We got the birthing pool set up just in time - that was wonderful!

I was also mentally not prepared for the transition of 2 to 3 kids. I had a list of things I wanted to do before baby came and I felt like the 5 virgins who ran out of oil. The first week of Baby being on the outside was a mess! Fortunately Azael had paternity leave from work and was able to stay home - but it was crazy. At one week old Baby Boy still didn't have a name, so we put off announcing him to the world. We weren't intentionally hiding him, just lots of adjusting for our hearts and minds to welcome this little one so 'early' (in our minds).




My mom was able to come up by the second week, and that gave Azael and I time to discuss names. In the Bible, we see God give very deliberate names to people, and Azael and I feel that same way with our kids. We've been entrusted by our Abba with these small humans to raise, and we feel like naming them in a way that honors Him is part of that responsibility as well.


As always, His name has a story: click here to read it though, as this post is getting long! ;)






On Saturday, December 10th, at two weeks old, he finally had a name! We sent the picture out to family and close friends and planned to make the obligatory Facebook Official post later that night. However, an unfortunate accident that evening landed Emaias in the ER with a broken leg. It was pretty traumatic for all involved. He had to stay overnight in Children's Hospital. I have a new found appreciation of and understanding for NICU parents. Recovery is slow going. He's in a harness - the typical regiment for this age and injury - but diaper changes and any movement of his leg are still pretty painful. I was overly optimistic that he would nurse sooner than he could - and thus have been struggling to keep my milk supply up as well. I texted a friend saying, "You don't realize how hard it is not to hold your baby until you can't." Things take longer now - diaper changes require two of us - one to immobilize his leg, the other to change him. He was nursing well and had a great latch pre-accident, and now I'm having to pump and use bottles (not bad, just more work.) I can't baby-wear him, and we have to give sponge baths for the next month or so. Our days look a lil different than the typical newborn bonding/adjusting and I'm trying to make sure I'm engaging with him as often as I can. It's hard, but God is good in it, helping me to think outside the box for ways to accommodate Emaias and his injury.

We've thought back through all the 'what if's' and 'if only's' to know that it truly was an unintended accident. It doesn't make it easier, but it is what it is, and we look forward to him feeling better. It's hard to see such a lil baby in such intense pain but he is predicted to make a fully recovery.

Thus the reason that he's a little over 3 weeks old and we are just now getting this announcement out. Jaelyn and Kaspien love their brother and are eagerly awaiting when they can hold him again.

WELCOME EMAIAS!

Will you be the whirlwind to my Phillip?

As you may have seen on social media, today is #GivingTuesday. As you are thinking about your finances and what you can contribute to the greater good, would you consider joining my whirlwind?

You may be wondering - what's a whirlwind and how do I join?

In the story about Phillip meeting the Ethiopian Official, verse 39 says that the Spirit of the Lord carried Phillip away, and then in vs 40 that Phillip appeared in another location. I remember a youth pastor once teaching about this passage and asking us what that would have looked like - to be "carried away" by the Spirit of the Lord. The Trekkies of the youth group suggesting it was probably teleportation (which would have been cool!). I don't remember how the Youth Pastor settled on the idea, but he had us think about it like a whirlwind (or for those of you in the midwest- a tornado - just a lil F2 or F3!) and that image has stuck in my mind all these years later.

So, now we know 'what' the whirlwind is, but why do you need to join? Well, the Spirit of the Lord often uses people to fulfill his purposes and his plan. A whirlwind is made up of many gusts of wind, all working towards gathering momentum for a specific trajectory. In the story, the Spirit of the Lord needed to get Phillip from one place of ministry to another, and he [may have] used a whirlwind to get him there.

Right now, Hands of Fire (the Deaf ministry of Cru on RIT/NTID's campus) is Phillip.
-- We have 4 staff members on campus working with Deaf students - the first time ever that we've had that many individuals dedicated to the needs of the Deaf community.
-- just this semester, TWO students (like the Ethiopian) have decided to follow Jesus and staff members (like Phillip) are in the process of guiding them into understanding of what that means.

What we need right now is a whirlwind to help equip those in ministry to continue to spread the news of the gospel with-in the Deaf community. We need a whirlwind to help take Hands of Fire resources to other Deaf individuals on other college campuses. We need your help to continue to serve in this way.

The easiest way to be part of the whirlwind is to give financially towards the mission and ministry. Volunteering your time to do any of these things is also greatly appreciated!

In honor of #GivingTuesday, would you join my whirlwind??

THANKS so much

Soli Deo Gloria
:D

One day at a time..

**It's been a while since I've sent an update - I feel as though I need to catch everyone up. This note will be a lil' on the longer side. Cliff notes are in bold - scroll down to see those if you just have a few minutes. ;)**

:: Feeling like a drain on life ::
September will mark 5 years of marriage for Azael and I.. Five! Welcome to Kindergarten! ;)

And while five years doesn't seem like that long ((in the grand scheme of things)), as I have been reflecting over the past few weeks, I've realized that in these first five years of our marriage, I've been in an almost constant state of change. Things have come to a tipping point as this 3rd pregnancy has been less than enjoyable, and I just feel like I'm a drain on life at the moment.
You may have seen me out and about, but don't be fooled. I can 'rally' - I can muster all the energy I've got - and put on a pleasant face to attend different events or visit with someone for a short time, but most of my days, I'm holed up at mi casa not wanting to interact with anyone because it's so draining for me. And this, in turn - when I'm texting with friends or catching up at events - makes me feel like I'm a drain on others (since the inevitable question comes up "how are you feeling/doing?" and I don't want to sugar coat it and say "I'm great/fine" as this perpetual-flu-feeling-that-is-my-pregnancy is not fun, but there's not really a nice way to bow out of "I really feel awful, but there's not much I can do for the next 4 months or so.."). *sigh*

And while I realize that this state is "temporary" - this baby will come out eventually, and I will feel better eventually - it is not lost on me that my recent "status update" in life for the last few years seems to be on auto-repeat. I feel as though I need to make excuses for being such a downer all the time.. for not being able to juggle as much as I used to.. for feeling like I'm failing at friendships or housekeeping or  fill in the blank . I was curious if this was just me having an Eeyore attitude, or if life truly has been hard these last couple of years - so I took an online "stress test" to help me process the events of the past 5 years. The Holmes and Rahe Stress scale takes into account happy (marriage, baby, etc) and not-so-happy (move, death, illness) stressors. I took the test with the last five years in mind (2013-2018). The Score Interpretation at the end of the test said if your score was between 300-600 that you had a very high risk of becoming sick in the near future.. I scored an 847..

This prompted me to take the test five times, one for each year, to see if I leveled out a bit..
Life Change Assessment Scores
2013 - score: 549
(Azael moved to back to America, we got engaged, worked out of state while planning our wedding, my paternal grandpa passes away, we got married, moved to our first rental house, became pregnant with our first child and I was diagnosed with Mono.)
2014 - score: 530
(I officially started working for Cru, gave birth to Jaelyn, stopped interpreting freelance in Oklahoma, Azael had two job transitions during that year, I adjusted to parenting/living in a second language.)
2015 - score: 452
(We moved twice, gained a roommate, Azael's mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, we decide to move to California to be closer to her, I continued to stumble through living between two languages.)
2016 - score: 533
(Azael's mom became a missing person - presumed deceased, pregnant with our second child, move cross-country twice, 'homeless' for 3 months, Azael starts training program, gave birth to Kaspien.)
2017 - score: 451
(Azael starts new job, family of 4 moves into our 2 bedroom apartment with us for 3 months, we purchase our first house, my maternal step-grandpa passes away, spend 6 weeks apart from Azael while the kids are with me for work, Deaf teenager moves to live with us, and we add 3 roommates to the said house that we bought.)
2018 - score: not yet calculated but..
(become pregnant with child number 3, two roommates move out, replaced by 3 new roommates..)

Not to make excuses, but as I look back over the last 5 years, according to the stress test, I *should* be sick.. :( I guess it helps my fatigue to feel a little less overwhelming.

It's hard to reconcile sometimes the path that God is directing you down and the number of stressors science thinks you can take. I feel as though the first 3 or 4 years, we were doing the next right thing, taking the next God-directed step - but this last year and a half, I have felt more of the weight of all these changes building up.. I am ready for the whirlwind to stop and to settle down a bit. Baby number three - as much of a blessing as I'm sure this child will be - has been the straw that's breaking this camel's back, and I just want to sit down a rest a bit..

It's hard, though, as I like to be active (we used to sing this song during my youth group days - jumping back and forth like that! Wish I had that energy these days! - I want to run for fun/stress relief again. I miss playing soccer and football. And being goofy to songs like this with energy to spare). And it's not for lack of trying to figure out what's wrong, or not trying different remedies, eating better, avoiding certain foods - I just can't seem to pinpoint the issue at the moment.
But I have to remind myself, even when I'm feeling like I am not contributing anything to life in general, that God's love is not conditional on my performance.
..it's deeper than the sea, higher than the sky.. It's everlasting - when my stamina is not..

This list of songs has been my recent sound track.. in my head, on repeat most days and has kept me going as of late. As the Casting Crowns song says, "take it one more day at a time".. I'm trying to do just that.. 

Hopefully I can get back to regularly posting - this summer has been slow Cru/ministry wise (thankfully!) but this fall is gearing up for lots to happen. :)

Soli Deo Gloria
:D

Bringing back --FrienDay FriDay-- !

I know, I know - It's been a while since I've sent out an update. 

Y'all, I've been so pregnant with potential projects 

- there I go again, with that word play analogy that scares or annoys people ;) 

But here's the kicker - somewhere in the midst of all these 'pregnant with potential' projects I got pregnant with the the human kind of potential too!

Baby Bu "da 3rd" coming December 2018.. 

(and unfortunately, pregnancy and I go together like oil and water :( 

Morning (ie:all-day) sickness is my friend currently, 

and sleep demands my attention during the day and ignores me at night :( 

so if you think of me, say a prayer for a settled stomach, 

a non-foggy head and sleep when it's dark outside! Thanks)

Happy 'new' Frien-Day Fri-Day! 

Soli Deo Gloria

:D

[what]S'up, Wednesday?

The "[what]S'up, Wednesday?" update comes on the first Wednesday of the month. Peak into my planner to see my upcoming schedule, catch up on any noteworthy thing happening and check out a recent picture or two from my phone (mostly of the kids, cuz they're the cute ones) ;) .. 
          ******************************************************************

Peak into my Planner: 
December 4th-11th :: Heidi and Dakota are visiting. Both WORK and PLAY are being accomplished.  We have *big and exciting* plans for them to be back on campus as soon as they are able. --Stay Tuned!!--
December 21st-26th :: We (Azael, kids and I) fly to California for Christmas (THANKS PaPa Jim for the miles - though it may be self-serving for him as he's not yet met his second grandson!). ;)
December 26th-January 1st :: I'll be in Baltimore working at the Cru Winter Conference. I'll send out a link once I get there, as the interpreters will be on live-stream those few days. :)

[December 27th - {KASPIEN} turns 1! This big boy will accompany me to CWC-Baltimore, his second work trip with only Momma, as sister will stay home with Daddy - If you think of Azael, pray for wisdom in his few days of flying solo!] ;)

:: *Noteworthy* ::
DECEMBER is here! For most of you that means holiday shopping and wrapping gift (no harm in any of that!) - but for me, as a fundraiser, that means Year-end giving! I look at it as a win-win, really. You get a write off on your taxes for the money that God has entrusted you, and I get to have your donation doubled through matching funds (from a generous donor) that allow me to continue to provide access to the Deaf community at Cru events exposing them to the gospel and resources that allow them to walk deeper with Jesus!! :) I have $8,910 left to raise of the matching grant I received for this calendar year. Every little bit helps, so ask our Father what he would have you give, then click the link to allow Deaf individuals to SEE the gospel! :)

<<<< That's all for now - catch you later >>>>

Soli Deo Gloria
:D

#Giving Tuesday 2017

(Remember TL:DR is a summary at the bottom if you don't have time to read the whole update)

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This summer I was introduced to the term "History's Handful". Individuals in this group have purposed during their lifetime to give One Million Dollars towards the fulfillment of the Great Commission. Something within me stirred; this is something I'd love to do! From Adopting/sponsoring kids to drilling clean water wells to completing Bible translations in the heart languages of Deaf individuals around the world - these veins run deep within me! Those of you who know my financial situation and socio-economic status might smile and think "bless your heart". I'd agree with you - I have no where near the capital needed to give away $1 million dollars over the course of my lifetime.. Maybe if I write a book, and give all the proceeds away I could get close.. Or if I came up with an app, and donated all the revenue.. I have many inventor/creator type ideas, but no entrepreneurial wit or patience. (If you have that ability, I'll share my ideas and we can split the donations of the proceeds to our charities of choice? deal?!)

I am also encouraged to read about people who live on 10% of their income and give away 90%.. We're struggling to live on the 90% currently, but to live on less and be able to give more is always our goal! Currently we strive to be good stewards of what we have and to give as generously as we are able when a situation arrises - exhibit A: While traveling home, we ended up filling the tank of the Turkish visitor at the gas station the other day and giving him the $50 Aldi gift card we had so he could purchase food for his family since he left his wallet at the hotel during his travels and had yet to reclaim it.

I start out with all these examples because I know that it can seem like I'm always asking for monetary donations ((cuz I am ;) I can't do this work that God has given me on my own, and the part I need the most help with is the money part)) BUT - I don't want you to think that my attitude towards the money you give is indifferent or demanding. I'm on the front lines with you! I want to be a generous giver just as much as I challenge you to be one! I subscribe to a blog entitled Gospel Patrons which endeavors to engage people who desire to be involved in a similar mission as History's Handful - without the one million dollar number attached ;) Their goal is to reflect God's generosity in advancing the message of Jesus.

An article they recently published is a great reminder of how we are all in this together. Some are the suppliers and others are the order fulfillment department while still others (to take the analogy further) are the shipping team and the customer service reps ;) Somedays I'd love to leave the customer relations job and be on the supplying end - to have the knowhow to develop products that customers purchase with money - to get something tangible and less messy than working with people and their brokenness all the time. I can easily become disillusioned that I'm just peddling myself and my talents for no real profit, or that the "gospel that I'm selling" is not as cool as the new iPhone and all it's features..

Often I think it would be easier to just earn the money to pay for the ministry in a "one-man-band" capacity and therefore not be a burden to any one else rather than to trust God to provide. But then I'm reminded that the grass always seems greener on the other side, and if I'm not walking out in the faith that my God will supply all my needs (and that of the ministry) according to His glorious riches, then I'm squandering my own green grass ;) as well as robbing you of the opportunity to join me in the gospel pursuit.

I've put "Joining History's Handful" on my bucket list, and will continue towards that endeavor - and I want to invite you to join me in pursing that in your own lives as well. One Million is a lot of 000's.. But don't let that intimidate you - You all know the story about the boy throwing starfish back into the sea.. "You can't help them all.." he's challenged by an onlooker. "No," He replies, "but I can help this one."
This week, many people will take part in #Giving Tuesday.

⇨ Please prayerfully ask our Abba "which one is my one?" and start there! ⇦

 I'd love to have this ministry be your one - but more than that, I want your finances to not control you or limit your ability to give. If this Tuesday is a step breaking the chains of consumerism and giving control of your budget to God, then that's a great first step! If you would be lead to join the ministry partners that fund this ministry I have a matching grant for this calendar year for that expires December 31st. I've raised $9,620 toward the matching amount, so in the month of December, every dollar raised will be doubled up to $10,380! Please join me in pursuing the heart of our GENEROUS God and imitating him in providing ways for others to hear (in this ministries case - SEE!) the gospel and respond!

TL:DR

** I wanna join the History's Handful club (a group of people dedicated to donate $1Million to the great commission), but I can't without your help. **
** This article is worth your time and consideration. **
** If you choose to be a supplier (see the article) - I have a matching grant for all donations made in December - up to $10,380! I'd love to be the recipient of your generosity! **


Soli Deo Gloria