Will you be the whirlwind to my Phillip?

As you may have seen on social media, today is #GivingTuesday. As you are thinking about your finances and what you can contribute to the greater good, would you consider joining my whirlwind?

You may be wondering - what's a whirlwind and how do I join?

In the story about Phillip meeting the Ethiopian Official, verse 39 says that the Spirit of the Lord carried Phillip away, and then in vs 40 that Phillip appeared in another location. I remember a youth pastor once teaching about this passage and asking us what that would have looked like - to be "carried away" by the Spirit of the Lord. The Trekkies of the youth group suggesting it was probably teleportation (which would have been cool!). I don't remember how the Youth Pastor settled on the idea, but he had us think about it like a whirlwind (or for those of you in the midwest- a tornado - just a lil F2 or F3!) and that image has stuck in my mind all these years later.

So, now we know 'what' the whirlwind is, but why do you need to join? Well, the Spirit of the Lord often uses people to fulfill his purposes and his plan. A whirlwind is made up of many gusts of wind, all working towards gathering momentum for a specific trajectory. In the story, the Spirit of the Lord needed to get Phillip from one place of ministry to another, and he [may have] used a whirlwind to get him there.

Right now, Hands of Fire (the Deaf ministry of Cru on RIT/NTID's campus) is Phillip.
-- We have 4 staff members on campus working with Deaf students - the first time ever that we've had that many individuals dedicated to the needs of the Deaf community.
-- just this semester, TWO students (like the Ethiopian) have decided to follow Jesus and staff members (like Phillip) are in the process of guiding them into understanding of what that means.

What we need right now is a whirlwind to help equip those in ministry to continue to spread the news of the gospel with-in the Deaf community. We need a whirlwind to help take Hands of Fire resources to other Deaf individuals on other college campuses. We need your help to continue to serve in this way.

The easiest way to be part of the whirlwind is to give financially towards the mission and ministry. Volunteering your time to do any of these things is also greatly appreciated!

In honor of #GivingTuesday, would you join my whirlwind??

THANKS so much

Soli Deo Gloria
:D

One day at a time..

**It's been a while since I've sent an update - I feel as though I need to catch everyone up. This note will be a lil' on the longer side. Cliff notes are in bold - scroll down to see those if you just have a few minutes. ;)**

:: Feeling like a drain on life ::
September will mark 5 years of marriage for Azael and I.. Five! Welcome to Kindergarten! ;)

And while five years doesn't seem like that long ((in the grand scheme of things)), as I have been reflecting over the past few weeks, I've realized that in these first five years of our marriage, I've been in an almost constant state of change. Things have come to a tipping point as this 3rd pregnancy has been less than enjoyable, and I just feel like I'm a drain on life at the moment.
You may have seen me out and about, but don't be fooled. I can 'rally' - I can muster all the energy I've got - and put on a pleasant face to attend different events or visit with someone for a short time, but most of my days, I'm holed up at mi casa not wanting to interact with anyone because it's so draining for me. And this, in turn - when I'm texting with friends or catching up at events - makes me feel like I'm a drain on others (since the inevitable question comes up "how are you feeling/doing?" and I don't want to sugar coat it and say "I'm great/fine" as this perpetual-flu-feeling-that-is-my-pregnancy is not fun, but there's not really a nice way to bow out of "I really feel awful, but there's not much I can do for the next 4 months or so.."). *sigh*

And while I realize that this state is "temporary" - this baby will come out eventually, and I will feel better eventually - it is not lost on me that my recent "status update" in life for the last few years seems to be on auto-repeat. I feel as though I need to make excuses for being such a downer all the time.. for not being able to juggle as much as I used to.. for feeling like I'm failing at friendships or housekeeping or  fill in the blank . I was curious if this was just me having an Eeyore attitude, or if life truly has been hard these last couple of years - so I took an online "stress test" to help me process the events of the past 5 years. The Holmes and Rahe Stress scale takes into account happy (marriage, baby, etc) and not-so-happy (move, death, illness) stressors. I took the test with the last five years in mind (2013-2018). The Score Interpretation at the end of the test said if your score was between 300-600 that you had a very high risk of becoming sick in the near future.. I scored an 847..

This prompted me to take the test five times, one for each year, to see if I leveled out a bit..
Life Change Assessment Scores
2013 - score: 549
(Azael moved to back to America, we got engaged, worked out of state while planning our wedding, my paternal grandpa passes away, we got married, moved to our first rental house, became pregnant with our first child and I was diagnosed with Mono.)
2014 - score: 530
(I officially started working for Cru, gave birth to Jaelyn, stopped interpreting freelance in Oklahoma, Azael had two job transitions during that year, I adjusted to parenting/living in a second language.)
2015 - score: 452
(We moved twice, gained a roommate, Azael's mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, we decide to move to California to be closer to her, I continued to stumble through living between two languages.)
2016 - score: 533
(Azael's mom became a missing person - presumed deceased, pregnant with our second child, move cross-country twice, 'homeless' for 3 months, Azael starts training program, gave birth to Kaspien.)
2017 - score: 451
(Azael starts new job, family of 4 moves into our 2 bedroom apartment with us for 3 months, we purchase our first house, my maternal step-grandpa passes away, spend 6 weeks apart from Azael while the kids are with me for work, Deaf teenager moves to live with us, and we add 3 roommates to the said house that we bought.)
2018 - score: not yet calculated but..
(become pregnant with child number 3, two roommates move out, replaced by 3 new roommates..)

Not to make excuses, but as I look back over the last 5 years, according to the stress test, I *should* be sick.. :( I guess it helps my fatigue to feel a little less overwhelming.

It's hard to reconcile sometimes the path that God is directing you down and the number of stressors science thinks you can take. I feel as though the first 3 or 4 years, we were doing the next right thing, taking the next God-directed step - but this last year and a half, I have felt more of the weight of all these changes building up.. I am ready for the whirlwind to stop and to settle down a bit. Baby number three - as much of a blessing as I'm sure this child will be - has been the straw that's breaking this camel's back, and I just want to sit down a rest a bit..

It's hard, though, as I like to be active (we used to sing this song during my youth group days - jumping back and forth like that! Wish I had that energy these days! - I want to run for fun/stress relief again. I miss playing soccer and football. And being goofy to songs like this with energy to spare). And it's not for lack of trying to figure out what's wrong, or not trying different remedies, eating better, avoiding certain foods - I just can't seem to pinpoint the issue at the moment.
But I have to remind myself, even when I'm feeling like I am not contributing anything to life in general, that God's love is not conditional on my performance.
..it's deeper than the sea, higher than the sky.. It's everlasting - when my stamina is not..

This list of songs has been my recent sound track.. in my head, on repeat most days and has kept me going as of late. As the Casting Crowns song says, "take it one more day at a time".. I'm trying to do just that.. 

Hopefully I can get back to regularly posting - this summer has been slow Cru/ministry wise (thankfully!) but this fall is gearing up for lots to happen. :)

Soli Deo Gloria
:D

Bringing back --FrienDay FriDay-- !

I know, I know - It's been a while since I've sent out an update. 

Y'all, I've been so pregnant with potential projects 

- there I go again, with that word play analogy that scares or annoys people ;) 

But here's the kicker - somewhere in the midst of all these 'pregnant with potential' projects I got pregnant with the the human kind of potential too!

Baby Bu "da 3rd" coming December 2018.. 

(and unfortunately, pregnancy and I go together like oil and water :( 

Morning (ie:all-day) sickness is my friend currently, 

and sleep demands my attention during the day and ignores me at night :( 

so if you think of me, say a prayer for a settled stomach, 

a non-foggy head and sleep when it's dark outside! Thanks)

Happy 'new' Frien-Day Fri-Day! 

Soli Deo Gloria

:D

[what]S'up, Wednesday?

The "[what]S'up, Wednesday?" update comes on the first Wednesday of the month. Peak into my planner to see my upcoming schedule, catch up on any noteworthy thing happening and check out a recent picture or two from my phone (mostly of the kids, cuz they're the cute ones) ;) .. 
          ******************************************************************

Peak into my Planner: 
December 4th-11th :: Heidi and Dakota are visiting. Both WORK and PLAY are being accomplished.  We have *big and exciting* plans for them to be back on campus as soon as they are able. --Stay Tuned!!--
December 21st-26th :: We (Azael, kids and I) fly to California for Christmas (THANKS PaPa Jim for the miles - though it may be self-serving for him as he's not yet met his second grandson!). ;)
December 26th-January 1st :: I'll be in Baltimore working at the Cru Winter Conference. I'll send out a link once I get there, as the interpreters will be on live-stream those few days. :)

[December 27th - {KASPIEN} turns 1! This big boy will accompany me to CWC-Baltimore, his second work trip with only Momma, as sister will stay home with Daddy - If you think of Azael, pray for wisdom in his few days of flying solo!] ;)

:: *Noteworthy* ::
DECEMBER is here! For most of you that means holiday shopping and wrapping gift (no harm in any of that!) - but for me, as a fundraiser, that means Year-end giving! I look at it as a win-win, really. You get a write off on your taxes for the money that God has entrusted you, and I get to have your donation doubled through matching funds (from a generous donor) that allow me to continue to provide access to the Deaf community at Cru events exposing them to the gospel and resources that allow them to walk deeper with Jesus!! :) I have $8,910 left to raise of the matching grant I received for this calendar year. Every little bit helps, so ask our Father what he would have you give, then click the link to allow Deaf individuals to SEE the gospel! :)

<<<< That's all for now - catch you later >>>>

Soli Deo Gloria
:D

#Giving Tuesday 2017

(Remember TL:DR is a summary at the bottom if you don't have time to read the whole update)

*********************
This summer I was introduced to the term "History's Handful". Individuals in this group have purposed during their lifetime to give One Million Dollars towards the fulfillment of the Great Commission. Something within me stirred; this is something I'd love to do! From Adopting/sponsoring kids to drilling clean water wells to completing Bible translations in the heart languages of Deaf individuals around the world - these veins run deep within me! Those of you who know my financial situation and socio-economic status might smile and think "bless your heart". I'd agree with you - I have no where near the capital needed to give away $1 million dollars over the course of my lifetime.. Maybe if I write a book, and give all the proceeds away I could get close.. Or if I came up with an app, and donated all the revenue.. I have many inventor/creator type ideas, but no entrepreneurial wit or patience. (If you have that ability, I'll share my ideas and we can split the donations of the proceeds to our charities of choice? deal?!)

I am also encouraged to read about people who live on 10% of their income and give away 90%.. We're struggling to live on the 90% currently, but to live on less and be able to give more is always our goal! Currently we strive to be good stewards of what we have and to give as generously as we are able when a situation arrises - exhibit A: While traveling home, we ended up filling the tank of the Turkish visitor at the gas station the other day and giving him the $50 Aldi gift card we had so he could purchase food for his family since he left his wallet at the hotel during his travels and had yet to reclaim it.

I start out with all these examples because I know that it can seem like I'm always asking for monetary donations ((cuz I am ;) I can't do this work that God has given me on my own, and the part I need the most help with is the money part)) BUT - I don't want you to think that my attitude towards the money you give is indifferent or demanding. I'm on the front lines with you! I want to be a generous giver just as much as I challenge you to be one! I subscribe to a blog entitled Gospel Patrons which endeavors to engage people who desire to be involved in a similar mission as History's Handful - without the one million dollar number attached ;) Their goal is to reflect God's generosity in advancing the message of Jesus.

An article they recently published is a great reminder of how we are all in this together. Some are the suppliers and others are the order fulfillment department while still others (to take the analogy further) are the shipping team and the customer service reps ;) Somedays I'd love to leave the customer relations job and be on the supplying end - to have the knowhow to develop products that customers purchase with money - to get something tangible and less messy than working with people and their brokenness all the time. I can easily become disillusioned that I'm just peddling myself and my talents for no real profit, or that the "gospel that I'm selling" is not as cool as the new iPhone and all it's features..

Often I think it would be easier to just earn the money to pay for the ministry in a "one-man-band" capacity and therefore not be a burden to any one else rather than to trust God to provide. But then I'm reminded that the grass always seems greener on the other side, and if I'm not walking out in the faith that my God will supply all my needs (and that of the ministry) according to His glorious riches, then I'm squandering my own green grass ;) as well as robbing you of the opportunity to join me in the gospel pursuit.

I've put "Joining History's Handful" on my bucket list, and will continue towards that endeavor - and I want to invite you to join me in pursing that in your own lives as well. One Million is a lot of 000's.. But don't let that intimidate you - You all know the story about the boy throwing starfish back into the sea.. "You can't help them all.." he's challenged by an onlooker. "No," He replies, "but I can help this one."
This week, many people will take part in #Giving Tuesday.

⇨ Please prayerfully ask our Abba "which one is my one?" and start there! ⇦

 I'd love to have this ministry be your one - but more than that, I want your finances to not control you or limit your ability to give. If this Tuesday is a step breaking the chains of consumerism and giving control of your budget to God, then that's a great first step! If you would be lead to join the ministry partners that fund this ministry I have a matching grant for this calendar year for that expires December 31st. I've raised $9,620 toward the matching amount, so in the month of December, every dollar raised will be doubled up to $10,380! Please join me in pursuing the heart of our GENEROUS God and imitating him in providing ways for others to hear (in this ministries case - SEE!) the gospel and respond!

TL:DR

** I wanna join the History's Handful club (a group of people dedicated to donate $1Million to the great commission), but I can't without your help. **
** This article is worth your time and consideration. **
** If you choose to be a supplier (see the article) - I have a matching grant for all donations made in December - up to $10,380! I'd love to be the recipient of your generosity! **


Soli Deo Gloria

Word 'Baby' #1 - 'born' just in time for Thanksgiving! ;)

In my last update, I mentioned being pregnant with WORDS.. Since then, while watching a brief interview with a man named Bob Goff, something triggered my 'pregnant with words' self into the labor of 'write-some-things-out-NOW!' Here's his statement that served as todays 'word-birthing' catalyst:

"I want to say true things. That wasn't my idea - that was [the Apostle] Paul's idea. Don't tickle people's ears.. people are listening to you - we're teachers - so just say true things."

Honestly, this last year has been a painful 'pregnant with words' time for me.. Many an update/blog post swirled around in my mind and in my soul, but I did not have peace to share them for a few reasons - mainly because of my desire to stay true to who our Adonai has made me to be while still desiring to encourage those of you who are my ministry partner team reading these updates. I've gotten counsel to be more succinct in what I send out, to not be so long winded.. And I've wrestled with how to do that since 'short and sweet' does not come naturally to me. Whenever the Holy Spirit places a topic on my heart, the content of what I write tumbles out effortlessly. Every time I've tried to cut down a post to a snippet or a 'sound bite' though, the well drys up and I have nothing to say. Attempts at short and sweet become blunt and bitter, and that's not my desire at all! It's been a journey for me to find out how to try to be "both/and" - imitating Paul (in 1 Corinthians 9) by becoming all things to all people - in this endeavor. 

In His perfect timing, the Lord allowed me to come across that quote from Bob Goff in order to start a new segment of these updates and He allowed the peace to post to return. Yay! Here we go! ;)

So, what to expect for the foreseeable future? Here is my new rubric:

UPDATE/POST: 

All updates and posts will have a section at the end of each installment that will say "TL:DR" - for those of you who don't have teenagers living at home this means "To Long: Didn't Read". If you are crunched for time, or just want the Cliffs Notes - scroll down to this section where I'll bullet point the above message. 

I seem to do better when Calendar updates and Life updates are separate, so I'm going to go back to my previous schedule of "What'Sup Wednesday" posted on the first Wednesday of the month, and give a calendar overview of what events I have coming up. This should allow you to see when I'm traveling and to know if you should be tuning in to an :LIVE: event that Cru is hosting soon or if there are recent videos of my work available to view. 

The other posts that I write -hopefully once a month, but no promises on the frequency- will be these "True Things" that Bob Goff mentioned should be our priority to share. These will be the things that I am learning and that the Holy Spirit brings to my fingers, things that will include updates about my family, information and insight into the Deaf community as well as nuggets of truth I've uncovered on my current journey with our Great Cattle Rancher (aka Provider).

The final option that I'm going to add is a non-electronic update.. That means if you would like to cease receiving the e-mail version, but instead would like an envelope mailed to your person, then I'll send a quarterly paper copy of my last 3 months posts in a consolidated newsletter update. I need you to reply with your physical address if this is something you would prefer so I can get that list together and make sure you have that mailed to you.  

Hopefully the 'birth' of this first 'word baby' will help the siblings (twins, triplets, I'm not sure how many 'word babies' have been germinating this year) out onto the page as well! ;)

Soli Deo Gloria
:D

Did you hear/see it?

   You know the saying, "If a tree falls in the forest, but no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" Scientifically speaking, yes - the noise will happen regardless of a persons presence but theoretically the thought remains. Lately, I've been wondering a parallel question, "If a missionary is overwhelmed with ministry work, but there is no one there to document it as it happens (Instagram picture, Facebook feed, YouTube video, Blog post, etc), did it count as part of the harvest?"
   This wonderment comes not from contempt at seeing missions work overshared on social media, or annoyance of 'do-gooder's only seeking recognition for their "help" but rather out of a place of "plentiful harvest and too-few workers".. I've been quiet here on the blog/newsletter recently, as I've just been overwhelmed with ministry related work, and underwhelmed at the amount I can do as a 'one-man band'. I have regularly felt the tinge of 'you should post to let people know what you/the ministry is up to' as I shuffle to the next thing, but I've not yet been able to sit down and collect my thoughts in an intelligible way. To those of you who have recently joined my support team, I really am truly grateful for your partnership. I hope to update soon - see below. For those of you who have walked this journey with me for a while, I appreciate your patience. Updates and encouragement are coming - stay tuned! ;)

** Honestly, I feel pregnant with words as of late.. re-read that >>WITH WORDS<<.. and similar to how due dates and baby's delivery dates often don't coincide, I can feel that the messages are coming, they just aren't quite ready yet.. so I am trying to let them simmer a lil' longer and giving the Holy Spirit time to refine them before I birth them onto the page. Soon..

Until then - thanks for keeping-on-keeping-on in whatever place the Lord has you at the moment, and may we continue to go higher up and further in as we walk with Jesus on this journey called "life"!

Soli Deo Gloria
:D